Looking back, I am certain that i have always associated my birthday celebrations to being selfish wholeheartedly. Yes absolutely a time to blow your own trumpet (pamper yourself more) with the broadest smile ever was what I always did. Cutting the 26th cake cannot be any better way to bring back the fond memories of how cheerful I could get with each birthday.
The most soothing lines ‘age is just a number’ have always ruled all my birthdays. Resolutions are meant to be broken no doubt because I always made one in each birthday only to be broken after a week or fortnight at the maximum. Maybe that proves I can seldom be harsh to myself as to the resolutions I feel I make are concerned and that best describes me still as hard core non vegetarian untill now.
Despite not wanting to get reminded of my age as always, this time it was different, I wondered. Much to my amazement, I found myself wanting to reflect back to the days I have lived untill this birthday and that obviuously started with the reminder of my age at the first place.
Ticking the silver jubilee box on my birthday calender definitely meant acknowledging the 26th me on this earth and the bygone birthdays.
The first birthday I probably thought great was during my 1st standard when my dear parents surprised me with a cake huge enough for almost all my school fellows. I still remember how I changed emphatically from my school uniform to slip into those beatifull set of new kira they got for me that day with immense happiness and pride they stored in me. I must say that even teachers with the sternest face were cooperative that day so just imagine the impact of having a birthday had on me that day. That was the day I supposedly felt the importance of birthdays and henceforth made sure I marked one as it came because I am important as my parents made me belive that day.
Since that day onwards every passing day added extra zeal on living life for I was looking forward to my next birthday and the next and next. There were even times I got obsessed over it maybe I insanely thought that the value of ‘me’ is determined by the gift I get. As I now smirk on these funny memories of taking to the heights of not allowing those friends who came to celebrate without gifts to me, it still doesn’t come much as a surprise when I am little low on my birthday over gifts. Not getting any gift to me was what I used to consider extremely humiliating. Higher the value of the gift I received higher was my value as I solemnly believed untill practicality rocked me and deeds started to matter over gifts. My birthday meant showing gratitude to people who have made me feel good so far. It meant marking their importance too. Gifts became secondary to me. Ofcourse the ‘how to feel agenda’ was always there in all birthdays.
Slowly but surely with each birthday I was improving. How so ever I deny, my growing maturity was certainly blending with my growing age. It became more like a day to realize how much you have lived enough for your self but hardly for others. Making a visit to an old age home in India categorically made me feel blessed as I cherish now amongst the all best birthdays so far.
All said and done, some factors have not taken a name to change yet because I still like gifts and I confirm that so far none of it has humiliated my value. I still cannot resist expecting some bump of surprises on the eve and birthday carol still brings out the widest of smile on my face.
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